If Only You Would Have Told Me...

Major Challenge- FanFiction
 I  really  liked  reading  "My  Enemy  the  Queen"  by Victoria  Holt,  so  much  so  that  I  could  not  stop  reading  once  I  started.  Regardless,  I  felt  like  a  lot  of  the  conflict  in  this  book  could  have  been  avoided  if  Lettice  and  Robert  Dudley  had  told  Queen  Elizabeth  the  truth  about  their  love  affair.  This  is  how  "My  Enemy  the  Queen"  should  have  ended...

I  wanted  to  see  Robert  to  tell  him  that  I  was  with  child,  for  I  was  certain  of  it.  I  was  thrilled  to  be  a  mother  again,  and  bare  the  child  of  the  handsome  Robert  Dudley,  Earl  of  Leicester.  But  I  was  too  anxious  to  be  happy  now.  I  wondered  what  Robert  would  do  when  I  told  him  the  news.  Would  he  be  thrilled,  as  I?  Or  would  he  disown  the  child?  Then,  the  most  dreaded  anxiety  of  all:  telling  Queen  Elizabeth,  my  cousin,  that  I  was  going  to  bare  the  child  of  the  man  she  loved.  Although  my  love  for  Robert  was  as  deep  as  the  ocean,  and  I  knew  he  felt  the  same  way  about  me,  I  feared  the  queen's  wrath  worse  than  death.
When  Robert  finally  arrived  at  Durham  House  and  I  told  him  the  news  of  our  child,  his  smile  lit  up  the  room.  We  embraced,  and  in  that  moment  I  knew  that  everything  would  turn  out  okay  if  Robert  would  take  me  as  his  wife  now,  before  my  pregnancy  began  to  show.  I  told  him  this,  and  he  readily  agreed.

"I  will  arrange  it.  Come  to  Kenilworth  and  the  ceremony  shall  take  place  there.  There  will  be  no  more  delay."  I  knew  he  meant  what  he  said  this  time.  There  was  no  doubt  in  my  mind  now  that  he  would  take  care  of  my  children  and  I.  That  was  the  biggest  blessing  of  all:  knowing  my  children  would  not  live  without  a  father.

Before  I  could  make  the  journey  to  Kenilworth  to  get  married,  there  was  something  I  had  to  do.  I  knew  Robert  would  argue  with  me  and  possibly  break  off  our  engagement  if  I  told  him  my  plans,  so  instead  of  rushing  to  Kenilworth,  I  went  to  the  queen's  bedchamber.

"Your  Majesty,"  I  began,  feeling  butterflies  dance  a  waltz  inside  of  my  stomach.  "There  is  a  pressing  matter  in  which  I  need  to  discuss  with  you."

"Yes  Lettice?  What  can  I  do  for  you?"  she  asked,  sounding  bored.  I  took  a  deep  breath,  and  said:

"Your  Majesty,  I  have  a  confession  to  make.  I  am  with  child,  your  grace.  The  father  of  the  child  is  Sir.  Robert  Dudley.  Before  you  speak,  please  let  me  explain."  Her  eyes  widened  and  her  face  began  to  turn  red,  but  she  held  her  tongue  until  I  was  finished  telling  her  Robert  and  I's  love  story.  "Your  Majesty,  I  could  not  help  falling  in  love  with  Robert  anymore  than  you  can  help  breathing.  If  you  call  him  here,  he  will  not  deny  his  love  for  me  either.  Please  let  us  be  married  in  peace.  If  you  wish,  I  will  step  away  from  court  forever  and  you  will  never  see  my  face  again.  Just  please,  your  Majesty...please  let  us  be  married.  I  can  not  have  my  child  be  a  bastard  or  I  a  common  whore."  Elizabeth  was  quiet  for  several  minutes,  but  her  stony  glare  told  me  she  was  thinking  my  request  over  grudgingly.

"I  should  have  you  banned  from  court  forever,"  she  began,  and  my  heart  dropped.  "I  should  wish  that  your  child  will  be  stillborn  or  a  hunchback.  I  should  whip  Robert  'til  the  point  of  death  for  betraying  me.  I  should  have  you  jailed  for  life  for  betraying  me.  But,"  she  paused,  with  a  frown.  "I  will  not.  I  can  not  let  my  people  see  me  in  such  a  way.  You  are,  however,  banned  from  this  court  forever  and  I  will  speak  to  Robert  on  this  matter.  If  he  doesn't  deny  you  or  your  child,  you  can  do  whatever  you  want  with  each  other.  Frankly  I  don't  care  so  long  as  your  traitors  are  removed  from  my  presence.  I  never  what  to  see  your  faces  again.  Do  you  understand?"

"Yes  your  Majesty,"  I  replied,  dumbstruck.

"Now  go.  Take  my  words  as  a  blessing  from  a  death  sentance."  I  turned  and  hurried  out  of  the  bedchamber.  Down  the  hall  I  heard  her  add  loudly:  "And  don't  you  ever  come  back!"

It  didn't  matter  to  me  whether  or  not  I  came  into  this  place  again:  I  had  everything  I  could  ever  want  and  more.  I  was  finally  going  to  have  the  happiness  I  deserved.  I  walked  out  of the  castle  a  happy  woman,  and  I  never  looked  back.

Meanwhile,  in  the  queen's  bedchamber,  Elizabeth  began  to  cry.

My Enemy the Queen

https://imgflip.com/i/119wt4

How I imagine Elizabeth (Not the one in the picture) looked after she found out Robert got married to her cousin. She did say that she didn't want to see her cousin's face.

A Lover Scorned

      Queen Elizabeth, in My Enemy the Queen, is yet again twisted into a caricature of herself. In this novel, she's a name-calling, desperate, and lonely scorned lover who depends entirely on Robert. Holt even wrote: "The Queen was never happy when Robert wasn't with her."
      So, what is the reason these novelists have used Elizabeth as a focal point? How do they change her personality for the novel? What kind of pattern do we see in these changes? Particularly, why is it that Elizabeth is used mainly for romance novels? (This brings us back to history's strange obsession with her 'sex life'.)

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c5/8a/53/c58a5340af62100c19d160994f2cb382.jpg

Game of Suitors

“He meant it this time. He was furious with the Queen for her excitement over the French suitor, and of course what she had said of him had been reported to him. He was not going to allow himself to be so humiliated before the whole Court and dance attendance on her while she archly prepared herself for her meeting with the Duc d’Anjou, who seemed likely to succeed where he had failed.” (Holt, Pg. 222)

I chose this scene to analyze because I feel like it really establishes Elizabeth’s character, and the impact her actions have on the nobles surrounding her. Here we see Elizabeth’s well-known tendency to entertain many suitors. It is clear from Robert’s ‘furious’ reaction that he is displeased with Elizabeth for rejecting him in favor of the Frenchman. And as we can see this in the follow statement from Lettice, “Fate was favoring me. This was my triumph. I had won.” (Holt, Pg. 222) she uses Robert’s anger at the Queen’s favor of another suitor to help her convince him to marry her, showing that Elizabeth’s game of suitors can sometimes provoke the men she manipulates in a negative way. But it also shows Elizabeth’s skill at manipulation; when it says the Duc is ‘likely to succeed where he had failed’, we know Robert believes the Duc actually stands a chance at marrying Elizabeth- something we know is false, as Elizabeth never married; the Duc is just another pawn for her to play with, entertaining his flirtations so that she may get what she wants from him. Also, I like the phrase ‘dance attendance on her’, because I feel the mental image of Elizabeth’s little game of courting as a dance is extremely fitting; she swaps partners frequently, going to and fro between them and making them feel as if she loves them until she is satisfied, then moving on to the next.

Elizabeth: The Humble

"Elizabeth came out of the dark Abbey into a blaze of light and heard the roar of the crowd welcome her. She walked through the people so that they could all see her -- this was a queen who would pander to anyone, their love for her was a balm for the years of neglect."

A recurring theme that presented itself to me was the depiction of Elizabeth I as a humble, insecure, and easily manipulated young Queen. This was apparent in the quote above, as well as within several other scenes throughout the excerpts of Gregory's novel. This quote in particular stuck out to me, because of Gregory's insistence that Queen Elizabeth would pander to anyone. Gregory illustrates Elizabeth as the epitome of a weak ruler who lacks confidence and is extremely vulnerable to an insurrection. 

In my opinion this an unfair assessment of Queen Elizabeth's reign as ruler of England. Elizabeth exemplified great strength in the face of crisis on multiple instances as Queen of England, and prevailed every time. Whether that be facing a new council that was constitutionally unfaithful, defeating the Spanish Armada in 1588, or never succumbing to the cowardice cries of her many suitors. 

Exposure

I chose this gif of roses dying because I believe it represents Elizabeth's life as a whole.  She starts off as a beautiful teen who can be described as pure and youthful. Due to exposure to the position of power she is placed in and all the duties that came along with it, she slowly "wilts" and becomes aged and worn out until it eventually kills her. 

Mass Inversion

Queen Elizabeth I, as portrayed by Miranda Richardson

          Elizabeth watched in shock as the Bishop of Carlise elevated the Host. How dare he, after giving his word to abide by her wishes! Rallying her patience, she spoke. "Bishop! Lower the pyx." Not a shout, but loud enough to be heard above the choir, and pitched as a command. The old fool ignored her! Trembling with wrath, Elizabeth rose from her seat within the royal pew, slamming the delicate fretwork door back on its hinges (she made a mental not to have it checked later, in case it had been damaged). She called out again, forcing the rage from her voice. "Bishop! I said Bishop! Lower that pyx." The old man turned his head slightly, noted her presence.
    Drawing herself up to her full height, no longer able to stop herself ire tinging her speech, the queen declared "This is my own chapel. You are serving as my chaplain. I am the queen. You will do as I order. Lower that pyx.".. and his head turned back to the mass. No longer able to contain her fury, she turned and strode from the chapel.